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Dating Is Not Supposed To Be Predatory

January 19, 2018

I’m not really unstable, this was just the “maddest” looking photo I could find of myself.

So many people have sent me every think piece written about the Aziz Ansari incident, asking my opinion.  I want to scream ISN’T IT FUCKING OBVIOUS? But I guess not, so here it is.

This happens EVERY DAY and is not okay.

This is our culture. This is rape culture. If you want to be all like “but it’s not rrreeeeaaalllllyyyyy rape,” go for it. You could probably get away with saying that Ansari isn’t a rapist (I might agree with you sometimes, depending on my mood.) But what you have to admit is that the fact that we’re even parsing the details of it is rape culture. That many of us think it’s no big deal is rape culture. This is who we are.


Resolve Not To Make Resolutions

December 19, 2017

On top of Mount Adams. While I never want to do this again, training for it changed my life. 

It’s January, and I own a gym. I should LOVE resolution season. When loads of people swear that this is the year they’re going to “get into shape,” whatever the hell that means. When people pour into the gyms across the country, proclamations waved high, spirits soaring. But I don’t love it. I hate it. All I see is wave after wave of shame and guilt, and spirits that I know are, for the most part, going to crash onto jagged cliffs of disappointment and failed expectations. That will make it even harder to try again, next year.

Resolution season is the siren song of a toxic culture determined to trap you with shame and a crippling inferiority complex. Fuck that.  Read more…

Instructions for my funeral

September 3, 2017

229678_10150348441655921_5234309_nA whole lotta people in my life died this summer. Seriously, more than usual. Earlier this week, I sent a weird text to someone I love, asking “what’s the dress code for this service?” It was, admittedly, for the service of someone I didn’t know all that well, but who was dearly loved by some of the people I love most in this world. (The death season started this year with losing someone I loved most in the world, and I’m still reeling and pissed about it, honestly.)

Anyway, me being me, I’d like to be very clear up front about what I want at my funeral. Read more…

Nutritional Challenges at Rocket

August 11, 2017

sept challengeIt’s that time of year again. Three times a year, we do a nutritional challenge at Rocket. It’s changed a bit over the last 6 years, but the basics have stayed the same. And this time, we’re trying something new, a “scaled” division. When we began, we always did a Whole 30. After Brady and I discovered Keto, we let people choose between a Whole 30 and strict Keto. But there were always people who asked for a “half-assed 30.” We scoffed, because we were some combination of clueless and sanctimonious. But really, that was incongruent with who we are as a gym, and what we love about CrossFit. If the idea is that we’ll meet you where you’re at, and can scale anything, why would we leave nutrition out of that?

So, because I am constantly explaining to both members and other gym owners how and why we do our nutritional challenges, I’m gonna spell it all out here. My hope is to inspire others to do their version. Even if you’re not a member of Rocket, get a group of friends together and commit to nutrition for 30 days.  Read more…

Proposed Rule Changes for USA Weightlifting Meets.

June 26, 2017

My kid, a nationally competitive lifter in her own right, helping coach at USAW Youth Nationals in Atlanta.

Just back from USA Weightlifting Youth Nationals, yup, still my favorite way to spend time. Why isn’t EVERY weekend a national meet? Why do I even have to do other stuff? Doing other stuff is stupid. I pretty much always want to be surrounded by ridiculously inspiring kids chasing dreams and snatching more than I can deadlift, at the ripe old age of 9.

Because it’s my favorite thing in the world, I’ve dedicated hours of my life to coming up with a strategic plan to make Weightlifting meets even better. Okay, really,  just the moments when there’s nothing on stage and I’ve already seen all the Instagram posts that are being broadcast on the big screen.  Read more…

Scaling Your WOD, It Goes Both Ways

March 6, 2017

17157517_10155179270320921_3044296357624222982_oIf anything will cause Brady and I to make that classic “whachoo talkin’ about Willis?” face to each other, it’s someone telling us that a workout was too easy. The beauty of CrossFit is that anyone can scale any workout to meet their needs, as long as they’re willing to be honest about what those needs are, and proactive about getting them met.

Like many gyms, we talk a lot about scaling workouts. More often than not, that ends up being a discussion about making workouts easier, for whatever reason. It also sometimes means subbing out a different move altogether because of an injury. What we’re trying really hard, now, to address is that scaling can also be done to make things harder.  Read more…

You know you SHOULD Love Your Body, But….

February 16, 2017

260315_10150298524625921_4784029_nCan we talk about this command to “love your body?” As if all those years of fear, shame and insecurity delivered to you by media and society can just disappear when that perky guru said “just love your body.” Gee whiz, thanks, I never knew.

Honestly I hate “love your body” just as much as I hate “fix those problem areas.” I really do. Because both of those phrases, when uttered to the vast majority of us, just sound like “you’re doing it wrong,” “you fucked this up too,” “nope, still not good enough.”

And I work in the fitness industry! In the last half decade I’ve probably worked with more than 1,000 people, drowning in all this messaging. Which is precisely what has made it so clear to me that this order to “LOVE YOUR BODY (right now, damn it, you shallow weakling)” is not working.

I don’t say that any more. Now, what I say is: Read more…

Yes, My Personal Politics Are In My Small Business

January 25, 2017

powerpostcardSome old business “wisdom” says that we should keep politics out of our business. Fuck that. Seriously. Fuck that. Especially now. We can’t afford to be silent.

The environment can’t afford it. Queer people, people of color, people who want clean water, people who want healthcare, people who believe that public education should work and justice should be just can’t afford it. People who don’t want to see a religious registry, a repeat of the holocaust, and the rise of a fascist regime can’t afford it.

Fuck that.  Read more…

“F” Montezuma and His F’ing Revenge

January 20, 2017

Chillin’ by the pool at the end of a very long day in Nicaragua.

Something like 40 years ago, maybe a couple more, I was just a kid who was lucky enough to be raised in a community with no baggage or shame around bodies and sex. I realize now how lucky I was, though that’s really neither here nor there for the purpose of this story.

Except that roughly 40 years ago, maybe a couple more, I had my first orgasm. A thing, orgasms that is, with which I would have a rough relationship for the rest of my life. People care so damned much about them, like it’s a badge of honor, a prize, how you prove you’re good enough at fucking and justify the time you spend doing so.

But I digress. Read more…

Yes, you are as responsible as he is….

December 9, 2016

nbc-fires-donald-trump-after-he-calls-mexicans-rapists-and-drug-runnersI’ve been trying, and mostly failing, to come up with a calm and reasonable way to explain why it is that YES, Trump supporters are as racist and bigoted as he is.

But, people say, I voted for change, I am not sexist, racist, homophobic etc….. I hear you. I even believe you. And I’m not really all that mad at you. But you need to understand what you’ve done with that vote, and why you are responsible for everything that happens as a result.

You voted for it. You chose it. You wanted it.

You elected it. Read more…