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How Does Your Small Business Serve Your Community?

March 18, 2016

Packed into Rocket CrossFit after a big Holiday Workout

My husband and I own a CrossFit gym. We squeeze more than 200 members into a 1,500 s/f gym, 14 at a time. Rocket CrossFit is not a fancy gym, though we’re well-equipped. We don’t send members to The CrossFit Games, nor do we care to. We keep our prices as low as we possibly can, because our goal is to increase community, not just make money (though this is our livelihood.) As a result, we know many of our neighbors, run into them everywhere, and they know each other. Many friendships have been formed over the years. We are a classic small, neighborhood business, with a classic impact on community.

When we opened, our mission statement never included the words “money” and “profit.” We wanted to empower people and create community.  We looked at the financial models, and knew that would come, but we didn’t put that first. IF, we believed, we could build a thriving community, the numbers would serve us and our business would thrive. We were right.  Read more…

Please DO NOT Workout Today!

March 14, 2016

Me, clearly bumming, in my happy place.

I spent the last two days doing the CrossFit Level 2 training, which was chock full of nonstop learning. But, being a very shy introvert with ADHD, it also left me with a lot of time to think about things that happen in my gym, and probably every other gym out there. In one of my very few moments of speaking out loud, I said something about wanting to ban sick people from working out and getting everyone else sick, which garnered a quick “don’t even get me started,” from Nadia, our inimitable cruise director  with a relentless smile who has, surely, seen it all.  And germy students is certainly an issue we all know well…… Read more…

My Boobs Are Conspiring Against Me

March 11, 2016

Katy Perry, who I secretly love, from her California Gurls video.

I got the letter in January. I made the call in March. Why? Because when I got the letter in January, I read it as saying “your breasts are trying to kill you, and they’re going to win this time, so say good-bye to everyone you love because you’ll be dead by the weekend, sucka.” What it really said was, “You are due for your routine mammogram. Please call at your convenience to make an appointment.”

Seeing as I don’t find impending doom to be convenient at all, I waited 3 months.  Read more…

Your Hatred of TV is Totally Elitist.

February 18, 2016

Football in a barThe small handful of us who spend time on the Facebook page of Columbia City, Seattle know that the wonderful TV show Portlandia has nothing on Columbia City. I have started – and probably need to pursue for the sheer irony of it now – a sitcom based on this page. A page where people can fight over anything. Dog poop in someone else’s trash can. (Neatly wrapped, mind you, in a biodegradable poop bag.) Someone’s neighbor sunbathing naked in their own backyard, where the neighbor kids could see boobies from a second story window. (BOOBIES!) The various pros and cons of speed-limits, bikes, Air Bnb, you name it. The sanctimony can swirl over any condescending kerfuffle. It’s really quite delicious.

I own a gym in the neighborhood. I have a member who isn’t on Facebook (yes, they exist,) but whenever I see her she asks me to retell the antics of the page (I do the voices and everything,) as if it were a Soap Opera. Which it is.

It is absurd.

But the other day, there was a thread so steeped in elitist arrogance that I couldn’t just stalk. And now I can’t let it go. Read more…

Apologies To Those Nader Supporters.

February 12, 2016

NaderTimeIt is with no shortage of fear (and crow) that I need to apologize to all you Nader supporters. You know the ones, the ones who gave us Bush as a president. I’ve been pissed at you for years, because if you hadn’t thrown your vote away, and voted for a Democrat like you should have, we wouldn’t have been fucked by a Bush, something we’re still sore from. I’m not kidding. I was pissed at you.

But now? I think I get it. And it terrifies me. Because I may be about to do it too.

Which is why I need to apologize. Read more…

11 Questions To Ask Your Partner

January 29, 2016

Photo by Flickr user David Trawin

11 Questions To Ask Your Partner If You Want A Slow and Agonizing Way Out Of Your Relationship

  1. If I didn’t exist, which one of your co-workers / friends / clients would you want to hook up with?
  2. If you could change anything about my body, what would it be?
  3. If you met me now, instead of when we met, would you still want to go out with me?
  4. What’s the one thing that you know I’ll never do sexually that you think about and really wish I would do?
  5. How am I different from the person you always thought you’d wind up with?
  6. What’s the most important thing that you gave up to be with me?
  7. If I gain – or lose – a ton of weight, would you still want to fuck me?
  8. What drives you the most crazy, in the bad way, about me?
  9. Besides me, what was the best sex you ever had?
  10. Which one of my friends would you hook up with if I didn’t exist?
  11. What do you miss most about your life before we got together?

Read more…

A Slob and A Neat-Freak Fall In Love…

January 24, 2016

kissAlmost every day, it occurs to me that I should probably deal with my laundry. Not because I don’t love my obvious system of “clean pile,” “dirty pile,” and “not so dirty that others would notice” pile. It’s worked well for me for more than 40 years now. But because I am married to a neat freak. And in my heart, I want to give him everything in the world that brings him joy, including a tidy house. But it simply isn’t going to happen. I am a slob, it is one of my defining characteristics. And I know it. Read more…

Rape Is Not A Death Sentence

January 4, 2016

Screen Shot 2016-01-04 at 8.51.17 AMThis is only kind of about Bill Cosby. There are plenty of intelligent people saying many intelligent things about how and why he got away with raping so many women for so many years even though so many people knew about it. I have nothing to add to the technicalities of it, or the societal embarrassment that it took dozens of women saying “he did it” to weigh as much as one man saying “no I didn’t.”

No, this is really about how painful it can be, as a rape survivor, to hear these stories. For me, it’s not the reminders that it happened to me. It’s not the descriptions, some of which are so similar that I can actually smell my own assault.

Nope. It’s about the well-intentioned statements, meant to show solidarity with survivors, that amount to “he ruined her life.” Read more…

The Most Perfectest Cinnamon Rolls Ever

December 27, 2015

20150915_094431_001I would love to start this post with something like, “I rarely eat sweets, because they’re bad for me and I have incredible self control.” But that’s a total lie. At least if feels like one, because given the choice, I’d eat sugar in every form, all day long. Me and Buddy the Elf, dietary pioneers.

But there is truth in there too. I love sweets. And I will never ever live a life that prohibits me the things that I love most. I do try to limit them to special occasions, and to sweets that are truly special. So no, I’m not likely to grab a candy bar at the checkout isle, but I am all about the special sweet treats that I love.

For me, cinnamon rolls are the pinnacle. Read more…

Hypocrisy and the Angry Bikini Model

December 7, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-12-06 at 7.54.28 AMI didn’t mean to pick a fight. I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, and saw that a friend had commented on a post from someone I’ve never heard of.  Her name, it turns out, is Arianna Hernandez, and she’s a “fitness model.” A term that I have huge issues with, but that’s not her fault. (I have no issue with her or her doing what she does, just to be clear. I just strenuously object to it being called “fitness.”)

I clicked because it was a comment on an article about how we need to stop sexualizing and commercializing fitness. Something I could not agree more strongly with. But it was posted by Arianna, wearing a tiny little red bikini, while leaning over a Coca-Cola display.

So I  mentioned the irony, because, um, obviously….. Read more…


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