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President Trump Tweets to the World’s Most Powerful Women

August 8, 2015

Let’s imagine for a moment that Donald Trump is president. Picture him in meetings about the international economy, climate change, world peace – or war. Given that past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior, let’s just imagine him talking to the women who lead in the rest of the world.

Because they do. They have for a long time. Much of the rest of the world is, or has been, run by women. Women who, I suspect, would shut this bombastic bully up quite soundly. But let’s just imagine it anyway. And since we’re imagining, let’s not limit ourselves to the here and now. Let’s just look at what kinds of things he might say, given his track record of tweeting about the ladies:

How do you think he would have gotten along with Golda Meir, who was called “Iron Lady” and “the smartest man in the room,” and very likely wouldn’t have taken an ounce of shit from Trump?


Or the current President of Brazil, and not known for being shy and retiring. (As if anyone running a country would be.)

Or Johanna Sgurdottir, former president of Iceland who was openly gay and married her girlfirend as soon as it was made legal. (Trump, of course, has publicly opposed gay marriage, saying he supports traditional marriage. 3 times, he’s supported traditional marriages of his own.)

How about Yingluck Shinawatra, the 28th Prime Minister of Thailand? Her background in business and real estate comes close to mirroring his, so I would expect something of a pissing contest from The Donald when they disagree on something.

I’d expect Trump, like many others to harp on the fact that Ms. Gandhi was not born in India, despite running the ruling party there. His love of birther scandal would be right at home dealing with her.

President Trump facing off with Angela Merkel, current chancellor of Germany, should be funny, if, you know, we didn’t count on them to be allies in some pretty important ways.

And, of course, Benazir Bhutto, who was Prime Minister of Pakistan. Not only was she a woman, but, well, a Muslim, and we know how old Trump feels about Muslims. Gotta keep them in their place, and keep the fear and conspiracies alive!

Look, I get it, Trump gets good ratings. I used to like to watch Yosemite Sam too. Then I grew up. But even as a kid, he never seemed like a leader, just a frustrated old nut-job who used guns to yell “get off my lawn.”

Trump is simply not President material. He will have to deal, diplomatically, with countries that have as leaders such things as Muslims, and women, and people who don’t agree with him. Not to mention the scores of people who could never take him seriously as anything other than some crazy cartoon character who is so daft that he doesn’t realize an animal died on his head. (Yes, that’s part of his charm.)

I hear you, you’re comforted that he speaks his mind. So does the crazy guy on the corner downtown who has been ranting for years about how Satan is his landlord. You’re tired of all this PC nonsense. I get it, I am too. Sometimes it’s just hard to be nice to people. I know, dear, I know. But we do it anyway, because we’re grown-ups.

But really, I just have to come back to his obvious issue with women. I mean, the whole Miss Universe thing is just gross. (Also, a failing business venture, not least because networks are refusing to be associated with him now. And if people who make money off of him are refusing to work with him, how the hell is he going to negotiate on the International political stage?)

But the tweets about Rosie O’Donell and Megyn Kelly are troubling in a much deeper way. He obviously just hates women. And no, making money by objectifying them, and repeatedly marrying them, and loving to have sex with them is NOT the same thing as loving women. That is pretty much just using them when it suits him, and only if they “behave.”

The O’Donell thing is less shocking, since Rosie has refused to conform to his vision of a fuckable Barbie doll. Every bully on every playground in the world calls the fat-kid names in order to feel superior. It takes only a few more brain cells than literally just pissing on fire hydrants.

But the Kelly thing, that’s a bit more confusing. Not only is she Barbie beautiful, but she pretty much made him who he is. He is her Frankenstein. Megyn Kelly is the polished figurehead of the media organization that gave Trump his head start. They groomed him for rants and ravings. Together, they were stark-raving ratings magic. But let’s be clear, they were using him, just like he has used so many. (It’s kind of glorious, is it not?)

Perhaps he sensed that without her, he might be nothing. So he did what bullies do, he called her names in the hopes that he could keep the toys and some of the other kids. So that he could keep her in her place, which is on her knees, quietly saying “thank-you.”

But what he did was make damned good and clear that he cannot be trusted to be put in a pressure situation with the women who run this world. Regardless of how you feel about feminism, or the rights of women to be treated with dignity. (And people of color, and of other religions, and….) He will blow up any relationship necessary in order to feel like he’s the big bully on campus. And when it comes to running the free world, that’s a dangerous proposition for all of us. Because there are a lot of women who run countries and businesses and political parties in this world. And every one of them has considerably more power than he does. Trump is, simply, a really bad business decision.

Although the Tweets would be really funny.

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