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What To Say When You Find Out Your Kid’s A Rapist

June 5, 2016
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Brock Turner was convicted of violently raping an incapacitated woman, but his father, Dan, thinks his loss of appetite is enough punishment.

I’m a parent. I know what it’s like to worry, sometimes irrationally, about the horrors that could befall my kid. I have imagined everything from kidnapping to cancer, miscarriage to….. well, let’s just say that in my mind I have already nursed her through every injury, illness and personal tragedy that my very-creative mind can come up with.

I haven’t prepared for the possibility that she could be the perpetrator of horror on someone else’s child. But, thanks to Dan Turner, the clueless fuck of a father who raised Brock Turner, the aspiring young athlete who raped a drunk woman behind a dumpster when she was passed out, I have now thought that through too.

And I think I have a grasp on what I would say if I found out my kid was a rapist.

Backing up, let’s make clear that this rape was especially depraved, in my opinion. Young Brock is convicted of having stumbled upon a passed-out drunk woman (who obviously could not consent) and penetrating her in a few ways with a few objects, only stopping when passersby saw him and chased him off of her. There is, truly, not a whole lot of grey area here. (Not that I’m inclined to find grey area in rape. This one is just really REALLY high on the “are you fucking kidding me?” scale.)

I mean, who the fuck stumbles across an incapacitated person and thinks, “oh goody, I’m gonna stick shit in there.” And by shit, I mean himself. (And a few other objects he could get his shitty little hands on.)

A depraved little shit, that’s who.

He tried the “but I was drunk” defense, and it didn’t fly. Sad times, for young Brock, indeed. Kid almost went to prison for 16 years.

Instead, because he’s not only rich and white, but also a star athlete, he got six months in a local jail. NOT EVEN FUCKING PRISON!

(Needless to say, much of the world, the people with conscience and brains, is horrified.)

But his father, who is not claiming inebriation as the source of his assholery, doubled down on the nation-wide horror of this story by publishing a letter in which he waxes morose about how sad it is to watch his young son not be able to choke down a Ribeye with joy anymore. 6 months, he says, seems unreasonable for what amounts to “20 minutes of action” in this kid’s otherwise exemplary life. (Rape = Action. Okay.)

(Rational people have assumed that if this kid did this, his life is probably not as exemplary as Dear Old Dad would like to think. I mean, this is not a starter offense.)

So, in his letter, Dan Turner drones on about how his son’s life is ruined now. How he can’t enjoy snacks. How he had such a bright future. How the world is being so mean to this young man.

Basically, he said everything except “my god, what have I done.”

And in so doing, we all know exactly how Brock became the man he became. He became the man he was raised to be.

So, dearest Dan Turner, here’s what you probably should have said. And here’s what I’m pretty sure I would say if I found out my kid did this. (With fake names of course, because….. )

I guess I should start by saying that I am John Snythe’s father. Which is to say that I am the father of a young man who has been found guilty of a particularly heinous rape. As if there’s such thing as a rape that isn’t heinous.

I have been trying to get my head around this since we first became aware of it, and I am still having a hard time making sense of it.

I keep thinking about how I would feel if I was the parent of the victim, rather than the rapist. It’s possible that I would rethink my stance against the death-penalty; though I hope I would eventually come around to some sense of compassion and hope. If only because I’d think about the parents of the kid who did this horrible thing.

But I am the parent of the kid who did the horrible thing.

And I am sick about it. I keep wondering what I did. What I could have done differently.

Right now, everything looks wrong. I see so many opportunities that maybe I missed.

Maybe we focused on his success at sports to the detriment of teaching him that how he treats other people is more important.

Maybe I didn’t teach him about consent, at all.

Maybe I didn’t work hard enough to emphasize that, despite what society tells us, women don’t owe him sex and need to be treated with full respect as any human. (My god, all the times when I lost my temper with his mother, was that why he did this? The times I didn’t get my own temper under control?) 

Maybe I didn’t offer up swift repercussions when he broke the rules.

Maybe I didn’t emphasize the right rules.

Maybe I wasn’t around enough. 


Maybe because of my own cluelessness about all of these issues, for whatever reason, I raised a kid who became a rapist.

Maybe this is my wake-up call.

Although it is too late to prevent what happened to this young woman, I promise that I have heard the call.

I know that although I am mortified, and John is devastated, it pales in comparison to what his victim is feeling.   There is nothing we can do to change the past, but here’s what I’m working on in our home now, and will work on  elsewhere in the future:

– The responsibility for this act falls on my son, and my son alone. We need to make sure that, as parents, we are raising children who understand, and take responsibility for, the impact of their actions.

– We are talking about consent and coercion and things that seem so basic, but are clearly so absent in our society, and apparently in our parenting.

– The only victim of his acts is the woman that he raped, and to an only-barely-lesser extent her family. He is not a victim, he is experiencing the repercussions for his own actions. As parents, we need to help our children understand that.

– We do live in a society in which rape is encouraged. I had ignored the reality of Rape Culture for too long, because I had that privilege. I no longer do. I will work with my children to understand how society pervasively encourages rape. I wish I could go back to early childhood, but I can’t. I will start now, and it starts by educating myself.

I hear my own voice in my head, all the times I heard people say “I didn’t raise my kid to be like that,” when parents were on the news talking about some crime their kid had committed. And in all my sanctimony, I said “yes you did.” And now I have to say that to myself. I want to say that I didn’t raise a rapist. But I did. And now I have to figure out how, and what to do about it.

I raised a rapist.

I know that I can’t say anything to make this better. I desperately wish I could.

I don’t even know how to end this, except to say that I am mortified. I am sure I am involved in the problem, and as such have to be part of the solution.   I am looking for ways to create a safer future for all of our children, and although I don’t know what that is, it’s the only thing I can think about. 

For what it’s worth, yes, John is suffering greatly as a result of his actions. And that’s okay for now. As his father, I am doing everything I can to help him find some comfort so that we can all get through this. As any parent would.

I am working with him to figure out how this happened, so that he never does anything like this again. And maybe so that no one else does either.

For what it’s worth, I am really sorry.

I will find a way to live in service of the change that we need.

In sincere remorse – Bob Snythe

Basically, Dan, take some responsibility here. If you want to take any credit for raising a star athlete, and would have taken any credit for raising a successful businessman, and a good student, then you need to take some responsibility here.

Because for every entitled, violent little shit that perpetrates their harmful narcissism on the world, there are parents who raised them.

Is it all your fault? Nope, of course not. But given the tone-deaf cluelessness of your letter to the world, I’m thinking you had a lot to do with it. And maybe the best thing you can do now is admit that – kinda like your son should admit that he did do that thing that two witnesses saw him doing.

Oh, and yes, we heard you suggest that your son should speak on campuses about the perils of drinking. There is a kernel of an idea in there, to be sure. But he should probably speak about the perils of raping. Because drinking didn’t do this, your son did.

Lots of people manage to do the drinking thing without raping. Correlation is not, as they say, causation.

Look deeper. And in the mirror.

188 Comments leave one →
  1. June 6, 2016 3:44 am

    Ugh. This whole case makes me sick and so full of rage towards this kid. He has such a flippant attitude, and his whole “speak out about drinking” escapade just makes it so much worse. As you said, alcohol didn’t do this heinous act, HE did. I hadn’t heard about the father’s letter yet, but now I’m not even sure I should go try to find it since it’ll probably just make me even more angry. Great post here, powerful words!

  2. JDH permalink
    June 6, 2016 4:20 pm

    I am struggling here because I can think of watching videos of courtrooms where some of the most heinous criminals of our age (specifics do not come to mind) are sentenced etc and there behind them is their mother or father and/or even offering testimony to lessen the sentence.

    This asshole kid deserves the original 16 year prison sentence and all of the vitriol our society can unleash upon him, but a parent’s love is often blind and unyielding. Your article is extremely well written, your anger at the crime is righteous . . . I just question whether the standard you set for a parent in this scenario is realistic and whether if you found yourself in the same position you actually would write such a letter.

  3. June 6, 2016 6:23 pm

    Everything but :
    My child needs to serve his time.

  4. Alyssa Royse permalink
    June 6, 2016 8:23 pm

    Until the moment that I read his father’s letter, I had compassion for his parents….. But his father’s statement was so patently without regard for the victim, and clueless to the nature of his son’s behavior that I suspect we’re dealing criminal affluenza. So I admit that I am holding him very largely accountable for raising this kid this way.

  5. Krista permalink
    June 6, 2016 8:58 pm

    I think he is disgusting and his father, and friend who’s letter for a lesser sentence was also released, are both delusional. Who cares if his life has been changed. Good!
    He can experience a sliver of what his victim has to experience every minute of her life.

    ***Note The rapist Brock did not just come upon her outside. He had been in the party where she was with her and left with her.

  6. June 7, 2016 6:23 am

    It was stomach churning for the father to write about the “problem” of binge drinking and promiscuity. I know plenty of people who slept around (and that’s fine!) and drank till they passed out in college. None of them deserved to be raped.

  7. June 7, 2016 11:05 am

    Disgusting. Just disgusting. I, too, wrote about the subject. I have a young daughter, and it frightens me that the culture of parenting has turned into ‘Not my kid’ instead of ‘Yes, my kid did this. Punish him or her and I will stand by your decision.’

  8. June 7, 2016 11:24 am

    I am from India and have not been following the case, so when I read the letter, I first thought that the young man got 20 years and it’s such a waste that a person would be willing to pay that price for 20 minutes of supposed fun even when they are drunk. How very wrong I was. Now, the letter enrages me.

    Personally, I do not believe in incarceration. Horrible things happen in prison and if a person is of stable enough mind to help the society, they must. But, this judgement must be made carefully so that we do not have the person teaching high school kids become a repeat offender.

  9. jiisand permalink
    June 7, 2016 11:27 am

    I fully sympathize that something should be done to turn this offender around but people are rather complex and to place the full blame on the father for the son’s crime makes me wonder about how a criminal system should handle it. Aside from whether six months or six years would turn the son into a good and compassionate person would putting the father in jail for the crime or the mother or uncles and aunts or grandparents satisfy the outrage? I am not excusing the son one bit but I have sincere doubts as to how the problem should be solved.

  10. June 7, 2016 11:33 am

    Like you’re reading my mind. Amen.

  11. June 7, 2016 11:43 am

    Very strong words, but truth. I cringe a little at the idea that the parents are always blamed. There are so many hard roads our children can stumble into that aren’t the parents fault. How sad when the first concern isn’t for harm done to the victim. The behavior also deserved some consequence enforced by the parents, not concern over lost privilege. It is chilling to think of the mindset that could justify such treatment of another human being.

  12. danithebooknerd permalink
    June 7, 2016 11:43 am

    Where exactly is he going to speak about “the perils of drinking?” I’m pretty sure a registered sex offender is not allowed on school campuses.

  13. Alyssa Royse permalink
    June 7, 2016 11:46 am

    @earnestlydebra I totally agree. And had it not been for his father’s letter, I would have been a loud voice in the chorus of people pointing out the MANY ways our culture warps our youth. BUT THAT LETTER….. I mean….. no.

  14. Alyssa Royse permalink
    June 7, 2016 11:47 am

    @storiesfromanonymous I fully agree that incarceration is almost never a productive answer, and we need to find a far better solution, in almost all cases!

  15. June 7, 2016 11:52 am

    Every layer of this makes my blood boil. Thank you for taking another perspective on the subject and writing about it with so much insight.

  16. June 7, 2016 11:55 am

    Who names their kid ‘Brock,’ anyway? That pretty much says it all. If you were writing a screenplay and the evil protagonist was a remorseless, rapist scumbag, Brock would be a perfect name.

  17. June 7, 2016 11:55 am

    Brock Turner’s life is ruined, his father is correct about that…he may not be serving a 16 year prison term, but in this the information age, EVERYBODY knows what he did. When he goes for a job interview, when he meets the woman he wants to marry (and when she introduces him to her parents) they’ll know he’s THAT Brock Turner. There’s no stinking off into obscurity for this kid, not that he deserves obscurity. An intoxicated person (which his victim was) cannot consent to sex, and so what he did was rape…the fact that the woman passed out behind a dumpster doesn’t make her “fair game”, & had Brock Turner wanted to do the right thing, he would have called 911 and gotten an ambulance for the obviously intoxicated woman. But he didn’t want to do the right thing. He did the wrong thing & he has to live with that.

    His father shouldn’t be talking, not to the press or anyone else. And certainly not about how young Mr. Turner’s life is ruined. There’s no correct thing to say upon finding out that one’s child has grown up to be a rapist. “His mother and I didn’t raise him that way,” sounds like BULLSHIT in the face of his actions, “His life is ruined now,” seems small and petty when compared to the impact what he fifteen will have (long-term) on the victim’s life. The correct thing would just be for Mr. Turner Senior to keep his fat mouth shut.

  18. June 7, 2016 12:03 pm

    I’m pretty sure that the way you treat someone who is unconscious and therefore completely vulnerable completely sums up the kind of person you are. And I’m pretty sure that a character reference from your dad should not be admissible in court. And I’m pretty sure that if this young man had been poor and black this would be a whole other story.

  19. illuminate permalink
    June 7, 2016 12:21 pm
    worse than the baylor and penn st. cover up

  20. June 7, 2016 12:26 pm

    Reading the open letter from the victim was important to me. But this father’s letter sickens me on a different level than his son’s actions. I would love to see a campaign to solicit letters from fathers of raped women. Let’s hear from their perspective how “20 minutes” affected their children’s lives.

  21. Alyssa Royse permalink
    June 7, 2016 12:35 pm

    @threecharms – THAT IS A BRILLIANT IDEA!

  22. June 7, 2016 12:39 pm

    Probably one of the most disgusting cases I have heard of in years. This man (and I use that term loosely), should have received the full 16 years. Anything the father has to say at this point is entirely irrelevant.

  23. June 7, 2016 12:40 pm

    Yes, yes, a million times yes. I have been fuming over this since I first read about it. I had to stop and walk away in the middle of many articles and it was a huge struggle for me to articulate my feelings on my blog because I have a deep anger inside me that burns with the rage of a million suns.

    You so accurately captured what the appropriate response should have been. I hate this mother fucker.

    Very well written.

  24. June 7, 2016 12:49 pm

    This is an excellent article and sums up what a lot of people think. They way the father tried to excuse his son is unbelievable. My foster son was in trouble at 15 for beating up another boy (I’m not equating it to rape). Although I love him and still do there is no way I could excuse what he did as a moment of madness. He did it, he caused the other boy pain and had to face the consequences.

  25. mmeprice permalink
    June 7, 2016 12:52 pm

    This is exactly exactly what he should have said.

  26. June 7, 2016 1:06 pm

    I’ve heard about it, and it’s very upsetting. So upsetting, I’ve tried to avoid articles about it because I’m so sickened by how society treats rape. I hope your letter makes parents realize they need to take a more proactive approach to teaching their kids about consent and how to treat others.
    I also hope you don’t get too many trolls harassing you for talking about this. God knows there seems to be more and more of them out there on the net these days.

  27. June 7, 2016 1:40 pm

    My son killed his friend in an accident, I raised a killer, I am to blame and live with unfathomable guilt on a daily basis. I don’t understand Dan Turner or why he feels that his son is above the law except that he is a narcissist. I know that my son was wrong and I know my part in his crime. My son knows what he did was wrong and told the judge he should be punished. It’s not going to fix what he did but he will face his punishment like a man and I will be there to help him give back to society when he is able. I’m also a sexual abuse survivor so this Stanford case hits someone close to him on that as well. I do understand not wanting your child to hurt and the knee jerk reaction that makes you look for excuses for them but when all calms down you know in your heart that they must be punished for what they’ve done and that there is no excuse. I truly hope that Mr. Turner comes to realize that soon. Thank you for your post, it touched me in a way that most can not understand.

  28. June 7, 2016 2:04 pm

    Wow! That guy’s father is really stupid, don’t think he would have said such if it had happen to his daughter. Really sorry for the victim’s family. I hope people get to read this and learn how to raise their children and show them how to treat people.

  29. June 7, 2016 2:58 pm

    It is very controversial post, can my kid be a rapist, I do not believe it, based on my education and according to Freud who covers all sexual instincts better than anyone to this day. It is kids parents fault or someone in his past that made impression on a kid. One way or the other it is parents fault.
    I grew up in the country where if underaged kid commit the crime parents to to jail to serve the sentenced, it might sound ridiculous to some people, but it is backed up by leading psychologist in the world.

    One way or another, great post, thank you for sharing

    Love, Wealth, and Health
    Alex Moses
    Awakened Business Coach

  30. June 7, 2016 3:13 pm

    Research is clear that most rapists are repeat offenders and have committed upwards of hundreds of sexual assaults. They rely on alcohol most often for their date rape drug of choice. They have sociopathic attitudes towards women and are otherwise of relatively sound mental health. No professional can change them. They do not want to change. They do not care. They do not care how much suffering their victim was put through. Rehabilitation for rapists is a silly dream.

  31. June 7, 2016 3:16 pm

    I wonder what he’ll do next…

  32. June 7, 2016 3:17 pm

    The father is to blame for his own ignorant comments about how his son is suffering. The father is to blame for not recognizing that his son committed a heinous act. Whether the father ever taught his son to respect people’s bodies is left to the imagination. We can only guess. The son is to blame for the rape he committed. Let’s hope no one from the talk show circuit tries to cash in on this horrific story because that will yield more attention on the father and son instead of the victim.

  33. June 7, 2016 3:23 pm

    Absolutely love this post. This kid (actually a grown man) has reacted with little remorse for his crime because his father raised him to do so. Ugh.

  34. June 7, 2016 3:32 pm

    I didn’t see the story or letter before seeing your blog… so didn’t have a context when I first started reading. It’s been on my mind all day. I really CAN’T fathom how a child could go THAT dark in one fell swoop – like you said.

  35. June 7, 2016 4:59 pm

    I am a victim of sexual assaults, and I can tell you it is NOT over after 20 minutes. It changes your life in ways I never could have imagined. It has taken decades for me to begin to heal. Now I try to use my experience to help others. I am so proud of the young woman who is brave enough to speak out! Now, I hope and pray that everyone listens.

  36. June 7, 2016 5:27 pm

    Completely agree. Rape culture + white privilege = Brock Turner.

  37. delilahwaters64 permalink
    June 7, 2016 5:32 pm

    This is incredibly sickening. That kid is not only being let off but learning that consequences aren’t the same for him.

  38. June 7, 2016 5:52 pm

    All this and Allen Iverson was infamously not only lied to by police interrogators, but his court date was intentionally held back so that he would be tried as an adult. And then was charged with a rarely used charge designed ironically to combat lynching mobs. He almost got 15 years on trumped up charges for something he claims never to have done and yet lighten the skin color a little bit and almost twenty years later this is still the state of the Justice system. Sickening.

  39. June 7, 2016 6:01 pm

    Loved this! It is particularly disturbing to me because he acted alone. Often there is a mob mentality with multiple men raping a woman, egging each other on. That doesn’t make them any less culpable but there is evidence that people act differently when in a crowd of their peers. This guy was just some severe and intense sick fuck whose gut instinct was to rape.

  40. Tami Lund permalink
    June 7, 2016 6:23 pm

    Well said. The last three paragraphs in particular, but yeah, overall… Well said.

  41. June 7, 2016 6:38 pm

    Well written. I am a parent of a son serving a 20 year sentence – NOT for rape. Sometimes it takes a while to get over the shock of what your children have done and we say the wrong things. If Brock’s father had taken the time to think it through before he reacted, his letter might have been more compassionate. When I think of Brock serving 6 months in jail, it festers like a dead rat that my son will waste 20 years of his life, mostly because we don’t have the money or power to make it different. Did he deserve time? Probably. Did he deserve 20 years in prison. No way.

  42. June 7, 2016 6:53 pm

    This upsets me on another level, the world is truly filled with terrible people, and it never fails to upset me.

  43. jean3awb permalink
    June 7, 2016 6:54 pm

    I’m so glad I came across this post because I have also thought about how I would react if my unborn child had done something as heinous as this. We read about Brock, we read about Paul from Columbia University, along with many other men who commit rape and it is uncomfortable and disturbing to read as a woman and also a woman who may soon choose to have a child. I also hate that there’s some truth behind “men hate women and women hate women” because we always seem to be divided on how we feel about cases like this where we either accuse the woman of being irresponsible and “asking for it” or we agree that guys like Brock or Paul are disgusting beings who don’t deserve any bit of success or happiness in their futures. I will say that although Brock’s punishment is minimal, he will NEVER be able to live a regular life, have the same job opportunities as someone who didn’t allegedly rape an unconscious woman, and will forever have his face on the internet as the guy who took advantage of a woman who was not in a position to consent. Our justice system may fail us many, many times, but one thing is for DAMN sure… once it’s on the internet, it NEVER goes away. I hope this Scarlett Letter is something he wears for the rest of his life.

  44. Alyssa Royse permalink
    June 7, 2016 6:57 pm

    @jpromo1 – I know. I even agree. But, as Mr. Rogers advised, look for the helpers. This was stopped by two men who walked by, knew it was wrong, and chased Brock down, making sure he was arrested. That’s twice as many “good guys” in this scenario. Look for the helpers. Always.

  45. Just Sayin permalink
    June 7, 2016 7:09 pm

    Well said and eye opening. I couldn’t agree more even with what you might have written in a letter if it were your child that did such a horrible thing to another. However, in contemplation, Im sure there would be phases that any parent would go through in this situation. Denial, defense and excuse making and eventually acceptance, guilt and then hopefully a sincere apology to society, to the victim(s) and then to your child. I repeat.. hopefully. Maybe not.

    However, I do not understand your reference to race; “and because he’s not only rich and white, but also a star athlete”.
    There are too many current and ongoing headlines regarding these types of horrible acts with little to no repercussions whatsoever to try and single this out to any specific race or stereotype. This is across the board and too many times we try to single out a certain group to place blame. This is our society & our culture. “We” includes all races, religions and groups. We have to hold ourselves, our children and our society responsible for its actions.

    With that said, thank you for the article. An eye opener.

  46. June 7, 2016 8:04 pm

    I have been a victim of rape and as know the pain that one goes through everyday…after the ordeal..and this guy s just as fucked up as the son..sorry to say..
    Sometimes I feel like rapid sets should be given a death sentence and even banished from the society.

  47. daramemon permalink
    June 7, 2016 8:38 pm

    Very heart wrenching drinks, makes one do crazy things but not this indecency we should all condemn well spoken

  48. June 7, 2016 9:08 pm

    I think you raise a valid point. A parents love IS blind and unyielding. Do I think the author would write this letter if in a similar circumstance? No. To me, whether she would write it or not is not as important as the concept of repercussions that is expressed in the letter.

    This is something my husband is already set on teaching my son and it was something I didn’t quite understand. Of course, I understand there are consequences for our actions, but I had trouble with the relevance to discipline that my husband vehemently insisted was there. He was adamant in claiming that an understanding of repercussion was completely necessary when raising a man and also adamant, and equally offensive, in saying that I don’t have all the tools to do so as a woman. This situation has really opened my eyes to what my husband was indirectly expressing to me.

    Whether your letter is realist or not, I think there’s still something to learn in what you’ve expressed.

    The father showed that he provided little to no discipline in his child rearing in my opinion. His letter shows that his son was over indulged. But, I do think that the son has some psychological issues that were exacerbated by his upbringing; I don’t believe the upbringing was the whole story. And if my guess on the son’s psychological issues is true, I wonder if he just simply began manipulating his parents at a very young age.

  49. jiisand permalink
    June 7, 2016 9:37 pm

    Perhaps I may be permitted an additional comment on a young guy who committed an unforgivable crime on a helpless woman. His claim of intoxication as an excuse, is also a crime in that he is attempting to evade responsibility through something, if taken seriously, would excuse anybody who drinks and does something unacceptable. It seems to indicate the guy is incapable of obtaining sexual satisfaction the way everybody else does it so maybe he should be educated into acceptable sexual activity. That is, if he is considered convertible to become a decent social citizen. This is not sarcasm or a joke but just an attempt to solve a serious problem.

    What will be the result of sending him to prison beyond identifying him to society as a social cripple? He will be placed into a social area replete with other various criminals who will probably educate him into other methods of behaving badly and how to evade punishment. He may be taught to regret his crime or more likely learn to despise society further, especially as the prison guards will probably treat him quite badly and engender all sorts of hatreds involving revenge and contempt for society. In other words, it could well convert him into a habitual criminal.

    I do not propose any general social solutions or excuses for his behavior, merely indicate the possible results of sending him to prison. If he has within him a general capability for regret and a sincere desire to reform prison may re enforce this tendency but this is difficult to ascertain from what is presented.

  50. June 7, 2016 10:14 pm

    This whole case has made me sick but thanks to the absolute revulsion by society of the father’s letter, the inadequate sentencing by the judge and the worldwide recognition that rape culture very much exists will hopefully improve things and irradicate this drunken rape stereotype. Times like this i think thank goodness for social media for sharing the case and raising the profile for supporting rape survivors and punishing offenders.

  51. June 7, 2016 10:29 pm

    @storiesfromanonymous u know what’s gonna happen when you don’t imprison these guys?
    They will do it again. You are from India then you should know better . There have been countless cases where the same person assaults women repeatedly….
    Actually I think incarceration is not the answer ….but castration is.

  52. June 7, 2016 10:36 pm

    Reblogged this on Bashful Creatures.

  53. June 7, 2016 10:40 pm

    Wow, he’s made his son is getting 6 months for 20 mins of action. What about the real victim? She is getting a lifetime for 20 mins and by a lifetime I mean trauma.

  54. June 7, 2016 11:18 pm

    This whole thing just disgusts me. Rape has become such a rampant thing in our society and it needs to no longer be tolerated!

  55. June 7, 2016 11:30 pm

    Thanks for writing this! It’s depressing what some people will do and say just to protect themselves and their own, even if they are clearly in the wrong. Some people are just truly disgusting.

  56. hokkaido2016 permalink
    June 7, 2016 11:40 pm

    Go to where you can sign a petition to remove the judge who made this lenient sentence from the bench. What’s even more disturbing is that Dan Turner left a message on his sons swimming home page saying something along the lines of ‘the charges against Brock have now been dropped. Suck it haters! Haha’…. Absolutely disgusting. To think I have to share a planet with people like that. Good post xxx

  57. The Leaky Inkpot permalink
    June 7, 2016 11:47 pm

    This is horrifying… To think that anyone could be the victim and that the perps get away with just a few months, it’s enraging really.

  58. June 8, 2016 12:58 am

    All I am saying is that the first time offender might not be inclined to commit a crime again. But then the treatment he receives in jail might convince him not just to rape again but maybe murder the victim too. Reformation homes are need, proper counselling is needed. That’s all I am saying.

  59. June 8, 2016 1:19 am

    Reblogged this on ryan123site and commented:
    in this blog the writer was very descriptive, and also he is very clear about what this mans son has done is wrong. I am really strongly against rape, because if a boy no matter the age can commit a crime suck as rape they should get the most painful prison sentence that this world has to offer…

  60. manojahja permalink
    June 8, 2016 1:57 am

    The moment i read about this case and the way his father act from a link that my friend shared,the first thought that came to my mind was “like father like son”,the second one although i hope not,God forbid,no one should be in the victim position or even the rapist because any human with conscience shouldn’t,but it did come crossed my mind if his father would act as ignorant as he’s now if its his daughter who sat on the victim’s chair,but then,i didn’t know what’s going on inside the family so I shouldn’t assumed much,but clearly there’s something wrong or both the father and son won’t be so on denial,i simply couldn’t give any sympathy to both of them,but now,especially for the father,i could only pray that his daughter or sister or niece or anyone he hold dearly who are females,won’t experienced the unexplainable pain as a such crime victim’s because who knows,with the way he act now,he might just blame his female family members instead of protecting them.

    Pardon for my bad english,its not my first language and pardon me if i sound too harsh.

  61. mikaylahyndman permalink
    June 8, 2016 2:15 am

    This case genuinely hurts my heart. I just published a post about consent and then a minute after, this pops up! People will do anything to save their own asses.

  62. June 8, 2016 2:33 am

    Hi Alyssa,
    Being the father of two daughters, but basically independently from that, I fully agree with you.
    And with such father, we cannot be surprised whether this young guy did what he did!
    The moral offense of this father to the girl and her family are much worseand big than the physical one his kid produced.
    …and this father even did not claim his drunkness after writing his letter!!

  63. June 8, 2016 3:27 am

    Reblogged this on In my own little world.

  64. June 8, 2016 3:45 am

    Reblogged this on MISSLIGHT and commented:
    If you’ve stumbled upon this post, please take the time to sit down and read it. This is so damn important.

  65. Woman Working With Words permalink
    June 8, 2016 4:03 am

    Reblogged this on Woman Working with Words and commented:
    There’s nothing more to say; this says it all, brilliantly.

  66. Woman Working With Words permalink
    June 8, 2016 4:06 am

    I really hope that somehow Brock and his father get to read this; it is clear and true.

  67. June 8, 2016 4:40 am

    Reblogged this on cassandra16site and commented:
    This is so apt for a maniac like the father-son duo….

  68. June 8, 2016 5:08 am

    Read this article yesterday and was thoroughly disgusted by every party involved. It is so easy to blame others, to take advantage of others-unintentionally the Father proved himself a true a**hole in my review of him. The son should be in prison… There is so much more but I cannot find any more energy to continue to my expression of such lowly, lowly injustice.

  69. June 8, 2016 5:19 am

    You HAVE thought this through and I think in the right way. Obviously (to me) this is on Brook. He did what he did. Everything else is just rationalisations of what he did, at best contributing factors, at worst feeble excuses. Dan has the blinders and rose coloured glasses on in respect to his son and it seems very clear from what I’ve seen that his attitude towards women comes from the locker room/gutter/high school adolescent perspective and certainly not a mature, well developed psyche. He just doesn’t get it and faint hope he ever will. Sad to read.

    A very well thought out and written article. Thanks for sharing

  70. June 8, 2016 5:54 am

    This case needs to be fully revistited and the Judge should truly be ashamed. The speech delivered by the victim in court captured the heart of the courtroom is such an eleoquent and brave way, i hope her attitude towards the heinous crime can help other victims to speak out and stand up. As for the father’s statement- he truly has failed in his role as a parent. Imagine if the roles were reversed and he was a father standing in court with his daughter who had just been raped? im sure his attitude would be most different.

  71. Juana permalink
    June 8, 2016 7:11 am

    May I reblog this? My blog has been focusing a lot on assault for a while.

  72. June 8, 2016 7:38 am

    This is everything that is wrong with the world, literally. This goes against everything any decent human condones and I don’t understand what the judge was THINKING allowing this to happen. What a disgusting ‘action’ – ruining that woman’s life. I agree with you. If I had a child who did this I was be MORTIFIED AND HORRIFIED to say the least…

  73. June 8, 2016 7:49 am

    I was so angry about this for days and now I’m just fucking sad for the victim and for all the women in Brock’s life and his father’s life. These men (using that term loosely) really know not what they’ve done and it seems clear nothing is going to teach them.

  74. June 8, 2016 7:59 am

    It’s sick what the kid and his father has said. I have heard that alcohol only “allows” you do what you normally won’t do. So basically he wanted to do it to someone.

  75. June 8, 2016 8:22 am

    Try and give him/her advises that wil help in the situation

  76. June 8, 2016 9:02 am

    Reblogged this on Jess Jess.

  77. June 8, 2016 9:05 am

    Just to make sure you understand what kind of person this rapist is: The moment he did this heinous crime, he degraded his victim to a puppet! Nay, the moment he saw her and thought about it, was the moment he degraded her. And you gotta think: What kind of person would think that other people are just puppets and dolls to play with?
    Just a horrible person would do that!
    And if I was the father of a rapist – gee, I wouldn’t know how to handle it. After giving all my love to raise him, how could I create such a monster? I would ask myself where I went wrong and would come to conclusion, that sometimes you can’t prevent that even your own kids go painfully wrong.

  78. June 8, 2016 9:20 am

    Great article. I read the speech that the victim delivered in court after the verdict was announced, heartbreaking. I just hope the prick who did it gets what he deserves in those 6 months in jail.

  79. June 8, 2016 9:21 am

    Great post, very well said and written, it makes me sick to think what this kid did to this poor woman(victim) He absolutely is a piece of shit. As a parent of a college student that is female, I have witnessed first hand on the campus how arrogant, and aggressive these super star athletes are, and they think they are entitled and above everything. That judge was an idiot for the minimal time he gave to him. The father should be held acountable for not teaching his son respect, it does start with upbringing as well as in this case the father’s desire to see his son being a superstar, probably because he was a loser at the that age , and is now living his dream through his son. God only knows what goes on with these men. I am a victim of narcissistic and soiciopath abuse, and I am older, and never saw it coming and I am really communicating with and educating my daughter so she doesn’t fall prey to these types of men.As a parent I have to worry about these pieces of shit taking advantage of a situation she may find herself in , because maybe she is a lightweight at drinking and it hits her faster and she doesn’t drink hardly to begin with, or maybe someone slips a date rape drug into her drink, or maybe several guys hold her down as they gang rape her. It’s a real fear and awful to have to worry about your daughter in that sense. I think parents better wake up and start taking accountability for why these kids are turning into such awful, revengeful, hateful and entiitled people. Make the consequences harder and make the parents responsible for their behavior as well. It’s a wakeup call and society has to step up and stop accepting all the uneccessary bullshit. This young woman was truly a victim and it broke my heart to read all the terrible things he did while she never gave consent, she never willingly agreed , she was passed out for godsakes, and to wake up and not know anything that happened or who did this vicious attack. He not only raped her body, but he raped her mind and that in itself will leave unhealed scars for the rest of her life. 6 months as compared to a lifetime of torture in your mind, that’s like a slap on the wrist and to be told its ok, just don’t do it again, its like a time out in the corner for being a bad boy. Let’s put daddy along side of him for that six months, maybe it will really give him the time to see how shitty he raised his star athlete son, and then they should both be required to educate others on the true consequences of rape.

  80. toriofthedreamers permalink
    June 8, 2016 10:33 am

    You are so right! I can’t even begin to fathom why he’s being let off so easy

  81. jm97531 permalink
    June 8, 2016 11:24 am

    Reblogged this on All I Wanna Do Is Beach and commented:
    Amazing. Simply an amazing post, that was well thought out and written. I couldn’t have said these things better myself. People need to wake up and pay attention to what they are teaching their kids, and make sure they are the right things. Like the ACTUAL meanings of the words “fair” and “entitlement”. Teach the things like making sure there are consequences for actions, and that just because they “didn’t mean to” doesn’t mean they shouldn’t suffer those consequences. Working in a post secondary institution, I see the results of “helicopter parenting” every day and it’s just sad and disgusts me to no end.

    I’m sorry if this isn’t like my usual posts, I just really felt strongly about this issue and appreciated the way this post was written.

  82. June 8, 2016 11:29 am

    He should have received 15-20…. Hopefully someone in the jail house will give him some corrective training…

  83. June 8, 2016 12:40 pm

    Too bad the young guy had the father he had. The father’s letter clearly shows how he greatly contributed to his son becoming a rapist. And if the father doesn’t finally realize it the son is doomed to a very sad life for the son and society.

    The victim’s father on the other hand is a blessing to the young lady and society. With a father like her’s she stand a chance of some normality.

  84. June 8, 2016 2:21 pm

    It IS TOO the parents fault as much as the boy. Parents don’t get to pretend they didn’t foster this culture of acceptance of rape culture any longer. There is no “of course not”

  85. June 8, 2016 3:16 pm

    Reblogged this on Bitter Sweet.

  86. June 8, 2016 3:17 pm

    A child learns from their parents and this is what happens when it is not good behavior. Their should have been another judge for this case.

  87. June 8, 2016 5:00 pm

    Where the hell was this disgusting rapists mother? Why didn’t she explain to him the rules of true consent??!?? smh, if only she had parented this could have been avoided.

  88. June 8, 2016 6:00 pm

    It is easy to poke the finger on others.
    But did anyone ask themselves, may be rape -it is a reaction on something suppressed? And this can come from unspoken feelings and from social pressure. What did we do wrong to let this happen? Did we talk about sex openly? Did we stop making a look that it is forbidden to talk publicly about penisis and viganas? We used to the thing that rape is a topic to discuss, but not sex and sexuality and sexual preferences. May be if he knew that sadomasochism is fine for some people too that rape might not happen at all?

  89. danny permalink
    June 8, 2016 6:29 pm

    This case made me sick. What made it worse was the parent’s response condoning the act as well as the judge’s response.

  90. June 8, 2016 6:33 pm


  91. June 8, 2016 6:44 pm

    There is a good book about similar situation which called “let’s talk about Kevin”. I think it is a big tragedy for parent especially

  92. June 8, 2016 6:46 pm

    I couldn’t agree more with you. This is a sad sad situation of a young man thinking he can do whatever he pleases and because his parents didn’t bust his ass a good one growing up, he’s become entitled. He is beyond an asshole, he’s a disgusting waste of human life. People who think rape is okay or let’s it even cross their mind to do to anyone, doesn’t deserve to live freely amount the decent population of people.

  93. June 8, 2016 8:29 pm

    Bravo to your version! If only that man has some conscience and dignity. Oh my God, I still really feel awful about this case and I would never be okay about it. 😦

  94. manojahja permalink
    June 8, 2016 9:01 pm

    If you asked me,i did,i did ask myself what have we done to make these kinda of cases among others kept happening with more and more severe results each and everyday,especially when the victims are childrens like what happened in my country lately,what had happened,what’s wrong with morality,literally what happened to us. Maybe you’re right,if you’re referring to the fact that there are clueless people out there because the fact that we still treat sex and sexual matters are still a taboo to discuss topics,but for me,the reason would be the lack of respect between us humans,the lack of understanding that no human beings,even including animals,can be treated badly,to the point that as if they have no worth,no value at all in this world,and we got to admit it that it still happening until this day,so i think,its more to the lack of knowledge and understanding on how every human being should be treated well,no matter its gender,no matter its social status,such cases,would hardly stopped happening in the future,sexual desire is natural,but it can be controlled,if we want to,if we are willing to,how?respect each other,no matter what’s the gender,no matter what’s the social status,because no man or woman or poor or rich people deserves to be treated bad,or in this case,to be raped.

  95. June 8, 2016 9:21 pm

    Agree to everything. The only question, of no human being is allowed to treat badly and animal too, how to be with wars, which take part in American life, debates and the biggest economical stimulation? And how to be with meat lovers? Or butchering is respectful? Rape is bad, but it is growing from many social and psychological issues. We are happy to blame father: “It’s his fault. That’ll do!”
    That’s why I’m surprised who many of us are search an easy answers and easy solutions for it. Should write a book about it.

  96. manojahja permalink
    June 8, 2016 10:13 pm

    Honestly,we couldn’t see things as only black and white matters,there would always be a grey area between that we might not yet know more understand,or we know but don’t want to understand,or understand but act like we don’t know,or act like we know while the fact is we don’t even understand,and so on,and so on,and i’m sure that when the readers of the articles somehow blamed the father it didn’t mean that its all that,like we’re pointing our fingers just for the fact that we’ve found someone who’s to be blamed and done,at least i didn’t think about it that way,it was the first reaction that crossed my mind,that i would admit,but then again,i don’t what’s in the family so i can’t assumed further,why did i even assumed it that way in the first place simply because home is where we had our first human contact with,parents are the first human we have a contact with,then to the people and environment outside the house and the family circle,so naturally anyone would think there must be something in the family and with the way the rapist father put the deed that his son did is nothing but an “action” pretty much shows how easy he sees this matters,while the fact is it isn’t,disappointed and anger towards such reaction would be normal don’t you think?again,its not about the blaming,even if it is seems like that,then i’d say maybe the parents should be blamed,for maybe lack of compassion,lack of care,or even too much of compassion,too much care,because as we all know,things that are too much would only bring us less,but then it can’t only be the rapist parents fault,we,the society are to blame too,because we have lack of respect with each other,or maybe too much for some reasons

    As for the wars and etcetra,i believe there’s a reason for everything,we just have to be a bit more willing to look for it,and try to understand,sometime some things just couldn’t be helped,but when we can,we should start,how?maybe you could start it by writing a book about it.

  97. June 8, 2016 10:26 pm

    I agree with you. I don’t try to excuse this father, but I also can see, how easy it is for us to find a responsible person, which is not us. With my question I wanted to get away from the “first reaction” on this case. With this questions I wanted to see if I can get exactly the response you gave – start asking more question instead of quick judging. Thank you

  98. manojahja permalink
    June 8, 2016 10:38 pm

    I think i’ve already explained that it is my first reaction and i don’t think anyone can dismiss a first reaction,as long as it didn’t fully affect our reaction on a matter,i believe your first reaction from my answer was what brings you to wanting to find out my real opinion about this matter,so with this last statement,i would like to say thank you for your attention and concern,its truly an honor to me,but then,don’t easy to judge others too,have a great day.

  99. June 9, 2016 12:58 am

    How could he defend his son even after knowing what he did??? He could have been a better person here by standing for what is right, instead of defending his shameless son. It is important for people to know the difference between right and wrong, whether it’s a parent, a layman or a person who is under the influence of alcohol.

  100. June 9, 2016 1:34 am

    The judge is a pig

  101. June 9, 2016 2:19 am

    Great read!

  102. June 9, 2016 3:45 am

    No judging, just questioning 😉

  103. June 9, 2016 4:54 am

    Fantastic blog, well written and yes as parents we have some accountability not all because sadly I have seen that you can raise a child a certain way and they can be influenced by friends, media, culture or society.

    My reaction would not have been pity like that Dad but pure sorrow for the victim and the family and yes you would have to look inwards to ask if anything you did as a parent contributed towards the appalling act

    Also to look at the person who committed the crime and find out their feelings at the time, what led them to that terrible act of crime and how you could help them move forward in getting help and rehabilitation so they see how that act had a devastating effect on so many of the victim’s family and of course the victim themselves and maybe even the friends she was with who thought she would be ‘ok ‘ getting home.

  104. lizziekiwi permalink
    June 9, 2016 5:35 am

    Love the article. I’ve written about the institutional racism involved in the case here, if anyone’s interested:

  105. June 9, 2016 6:02 am

    Wow, what an absolutely fantastic read. You said everything that I was thinking and what a lot of others have been thinking too. Very well said! I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. Love your honesty and for standing up for what is right

  106. illuminate permalink
    June 9, 2016 6:05 am
    cover up is worse than penn st and Baylor and still nothing has been done

  107. June 9, 2016 6:42 am

    While I sympathize very much with the writer’s perspective, I’d like to see a similar letter drafted as though from the parents of the victim. From what I read, she didn’t even know that she had been raped until the police told her. Her explanation was that she was out-of-training with alcohol.

    Sex is an incredibly powerful drive, and we don’t do a good job of helping our children manage it. I have heard women talk about getting completely fucked-up so that they wouldn’t remember what they did after they left the party. All they cared about is that the next day their hormones weren’t banging on them for sex.

    So while I find the judge’s decision to be abhorrent, I also have the sense that the problem is more complex than a man being out of control. Obviously the woman was as well, and maybe it would be good to prepare parents of girls with insight that would help them guide their daughters away from her choices.

    As a father, the teaching I gave my sons was this: arousal is a pooling of the blood. Your heart manages that flow. When you find yourself struggling with inappropriate arousal, keep it in your heart.

    So one night at college my son has this strong urge to go out for a walk. He picked a specific route without really understanding why, and encountered a female friend who was being hit on by a young fellow trying to take advantage of her drunkenness. My son interrupted the engagement and offered to walk her home. As they returned, she said “That guy thought that he was going to have sex with me.”

    My son doesn’t seem to be sexually active, and neither am I. Once you get into that heart space, the disorder that people generate around sex becomes tiresome. While living in the dorms, he actually seemed pretty traumatized by the pain suffered by his peers caught in the culture of alcohol and promiscuity. That it sweeps up so many is an indicator to me that sending a rapist to jail isn’t going to solve the problem – something needs to happen upstream.

  108. seeingchromatically permalink
    June 9, 2016 7:04 am

    I agree to every word

  109. anothertwentysomethingsblog permalink
    June 9, 2016 7:06 am

    Great post. So true that parents will happily take responsibility for raising an athlete but anything like this and they can’t accept it.

  110. June 9, 2016 7:17 am

    He should have gotten 20 years , and the father has to take some blame to , he went wrong somewhere .

  111. undisturbedconfessions permalink
    June 9, 2016 7:29 am

    As a person who is 20 years old, and also a pretty known member of our campus community it really breaks my heart knowing that this guy got off so lightly. I’m a survivor of sexual assault myself, and although I was afraid to step up after it occurred, I empathize so much with the people who find the strength and willingness to get justice. Although in my case, the douchebag ended up being arrested and sent to jail for separate crimes (thank god he’s not on the streets) , the fact that this man here can confess to the rape, say “sorry”, and then get a slap on the wrist really bugs me. So many people are already hesitant to take cases like these to court settings. So many people are already uneasy with the process of having to go through their attack again and again, and to think that this woman did not get the justice that she deserves sickens me to my core. There is clearly a issue here that is a combination of other problems the US faces. I think that the judge who made the call needs to really be investigated himself, because clearly he was unable to do the job that he was assigned. Saying that “jail would be too severe” is such a tired and stale point to make. People don’t go to jail to be comfortable. People go to jail as a consequence for the heinous (and not so heinous unfortunately) crimes that they commit. The letter that Brock’s father submitted that is going viral now as well effectively describes the type of erasure that is going on. By stating the importance of Brock’s goals and aspirations, mentioning his swimming career, and how he is no longer finding happiness in the previous joys that he ones had, he is erasing the importance of the victim and is trying to take the focus from her and this case, to his son. It’s the white patriarchy at work yet again. Issues like these books my blood because the injustice is so clear that it’s boggling as to how anyone with a clear head could ever rule in favor of the attacker. This was a great post! Thanks for sharing, and sorry for the rant haha!!

  112. June 9, 2016 7:42 am

    Great post, thank you. After reading both the victim’s letter and Brock’s father’s, I was too sick and disgusted to even attempt a level-headed post on this tragedy. I think you’ve successfully voiced what many of us are feeling.

  113. June 9, 2016 7:43 am

    This is the letter I wanted to read. The letter that acknowledges that a COMMUNITY of people have let this woman down. From the parent(s) who raised him, to the society that reinforced the notion that a “back rub” constituted consent. And while it’s infuriating that he will spend so little time behind bars, it’s still vastly more than over 90% of perpetrators of sexual assault.

  114. King permalink
    June 9, 2016 8:11 am

    This is good piece of work. You’ve painted the picture brilliantly in my mind.
    Also check out

  115. dianeruffcorn permalink
    June 9, 2016 9:32 am

    Reblogged this on A Little Bent.

  116. June 9, 2016 9:43 am

    Little candy-ass that he is. Unfortunately, I doubt very seriously he’s got what it takes to do the 180 necessary to become much more than a sociopath. His father (and mother) haven’t got it and more times than not, apples don’t fall far from their respective trees. It takes a lot of work. I’m not getting, so far, that the lot of ’em have the depth necessary. Tick tock.

  117. donhughes93307 permalink
    June 9, 2016 9:50 am

    This is disgusting, the judge really made a miscarriage of justice on this one. This is not a punishment for a rapist this kid has had several brushes with the law before this. How can this be justice for the victim it’s not. The father of this criminal has done everything to cover up his past crimes. What makes this even worse are the conections between the judge and this family. This entire case needs to be brought up for review the criminal needs a new trial with a different judge. The judge in this case needs to be removed from the bench at once and every case reviewed. No justice for the victim terrible.

  118. Idontwearahat. permalink
    June 9, 2016 10:21 am

    Who cares about Brock, what about the woman? Talk about his rights, his life. He clearly wasn’t thinking of that at the time. What a sick individual and, clearly, looking at the reaction of his father partly he is uneducated too. Drunk or not, nobody deserves what happened to that woman.

  119. June 9, 2016 10:25 am

    Yes. You are exactly right.

  120. June 9, 2016 11:10 am

    That actually made me cry. I wonder if my rapists parents know they raised rapists?

  121. June 9, 2016 11:46 am


  122. cathwhistler permalink
    June 9, 2016 4:31 pm

    Bravo, well said!

  123. Farrell Vanderhoef permalink
    June 9, 2016 6:11 pm

    GOOD FOR YOU !!! That piece of crap needs a dose of what he dished out while he’s in county lockup. Possibly it would teach him the meaning of respect if not remorse.

  124. June 9, 2016 6:59 pm

    brilliantly written. You have captured everything, everyone is thinking.

  125. June 9, 2016 11:44 pm

    White Supremacy at its Finest.

  126. June 10, 2016 2:23 am

    I agree that in this case, the parent is certainly a contributing factor to this criminal’s actions, and that he is raised as a privileged brat who knows nothing of consequences with zero respect for women or acknowledgement for their humanity. The dad’s letter says it all. I also do feel, that not all parents or criminals upbringings are due to their family background, there are cases where humans are sometimes not healthy in mind due to poor mental health from hormones, chemical etc. I’m not making an excuse, criminal must be dealt with accordingly, however, it’s not always stemmed from a nurtured environment. However, i agree with you on this article.

  127. Crystal permalink
    June 10, 2016 3:02 am

    My ex raped my daughter, and his mother told me “it wasn’t that bad”. Sick, sick, woman! (I happened to post about it yesterday if you happen to want to read more).

  128. Krystal permalink
    June 10, 2016 3:53 am

    Reblogged this on Gal in the Dress.

  129. June 10, 2016 5:51 am

    the system is so unfair, why won’t they give him a fair punishment? ><

  130. June 10, 2016 6:21 am

    I wish higher authorities and judgement system could punish sex abusers as severe as how those victims have been suffering severely .

  131. June 10, 2016 6:47 am

    Should infamous shock rocker Marilyn Manson face judgement and punishment ?
    because whose behavior is always the best examples of rape culture , sexual misconduct , sexual assault , sexual abuse .

  132. June 10, 2016 7:11 am

    Marilyn Manson is getting older , losing his own voice , and his tainted reputation can never be restored , what’s more ‘perfect’ his maker could create ?!
    Brock Turner is a young white athlete , after losing his bright future , what’s more he could expect ?!
    Judgement system wants to pick each of them to update its own , or just punish Brock Turner because he is such an innocent , and rip/ remove Marilyn Manson because he has gone too far , even Satan doesn’t want to lift him up this time !
    Well ,
    Just depending on Authority’s political style .
    I have been asking judgement system for years but they haven’t done anything , maybe they didn’t just get started .

  133. June 10, 2016 7:13 am

    Every time when you saw rape culture’s biggest star Marilyn Manson who was still playing power and authority ,
    What kind of future you could expect ?

  134. June 10, 2016 7:17 am

    I only can continue asking higher authority and judgement system to start to file case , give help , give judgement and punishment .
    I don’t have power but authority and politics shall not play individual’s life as how they play powers .

  135. June 10, 2016 7:23 am

    Evil politicians and rape culture super star Marilyn Manson , Who could make people’s lives become worse ? Perhaps both of them .

  136. June 10, 2016 7:26 am

    Marilyn Manson tainted this metal band’s reputation , abused religion , has become evil politicians’s tool to damage people’s lives .
    He who encouraged rape culture , who should be punished severely by higher judgement system .

  137. June 10, 2016 11:10 am

    I totally agree and I think more people should share your opinion. It’s important to realise that the woman life is also ruined or at least hurt.
    But that the Dad:
    a. Wouldn’t apologize
    b. Doesn’t take any of the blame
    c. Doesn’t even think for a moment about the poor women
    That’s fucking unbelievable. This is what our society has come to, that tragic and people should be ashamed of it.

  138. June 10, 2016 3:32 pm

    So well said. Totally disgusting situation. He should have gotten proper punishment…

  139. June 10, 2016 3:53 pm

    God amen! The whole story is fucked up to begin with, but the reaction from the father infuriates me. “20 MINS of action….” um ok… maybe someone should get him shit faced, and let him wake up, tied up, with a woman and her assorted playthings, oh and let’s not forget a timer set to 19 minutes and 59 seconds. I mean if it wasn’t a crime really for his son then why would he be any different?!

  140. June 11, 2016 3:44 am

    There are no words.. A prime example of our failed courts and justice system. This disgusting situation sparked a flame to a slow burning fire of which not many may have not realized was even burning in the first place.

  141. June 11, 2016 5:56 am

    … ‘clear’ as I may say: we all know exactly how Brock became the man he became. He became the man he was raised to be. Every child is a product of how he is raised. My father would have showed me every corner of the house, when I would have done such a thing, before he handled me over to the police! And he would still love me. A GOOD parent would never say: my child would never do such a thing. A good parent is honest in what is good or what is bad.
    Glad: my parents and grand parents where always there! The made all the time for me! Not sexual frustrated, so I could talk about everything I wanted to know. Even wen it turned out I was gay. No I wasn’t (lucky).I wasn’t frustrated about all these (most).important things, so I have to rape someone. No matter how horny I would be! (Why… please can someone tell me why! Why is the number of rapes in this country soo high?
    Dads letter says it all!. – in Canada almost 85% lowe!! Europe: almost 75% lower!!.Lets think about this one!!! What do we wrong??)
    I also think we should have a clear look in his past….. Maybe it would(n’t) suprise us all……

  142. June 11, 2016 8:04 am

    Reblogged this on moscatoandtea and commented:
    The other day, I was in the shower wondering about how I would react if my (future) child ever committed a crime such as this…and then I come across this article.

  143. June 11, 2016 8:58 am

    What Brock’s father said in response to what his son did absolutely sickens me! I can’t believe he had the audacity to call it “20 minutes of action”

  144. June 11, 2016 10:56 am

    Saying you were drunk as an excuse I mean seriously. Rape is rape there’s no excuse for that

  145. June 11, 2016 2:27 pm

    What a disgusting case. So horrible, but what a great article. Such great writing! Powerful words.

  146. June 11, 2016 7:08 pm

    So true about Wat u said here.. Even if it’s ur child, a rapist is a rapist and Surely deserve the punishment. It is not only a learning to him but for all the others who rape girls and think they will b free after a mistake:: girls are no toys to put things in and play with their body.. Guys r here only because girls r here in this world. Had there been no girls , there would b no generation!! So better respect you mother , sister , friends and even strangers..
    For people like them who can show the power of money and be proud of this horrible crime. I think the dad should also be punished along with the son, for being unreasonable and being shameless

  147. June 11, 2016 8:03 pm

    The whole case made me sick, due to the fact it hit too close to home for me. Their whole attitude about it was disgusting, it made me wonder if they laughed about it in private. It is true in their case- “Money talks, bullshit walks”. It would not surprise me if he does it again or commits another crime because why not? He has money and that will solve everything and make everything go away. I’m pretty sure when he serves time- he will be isolated and protected. The GenPop most likely will not have access to him so jail time will be comparable to being under house arrest. I’m all for jail/prison time and let the GenPop sort him out, considering rapists and ChoMo’s get the worse in there.

  148. June 11, 2016 8:09 pm

    I’m just sad, horified and terribly angered by these events. I also believe that the parents should take some of responsibility. Not only what happend but as you said responding correctly. If angood is abke to come out of this let it be a lesson that hopefully he will forever have this at his swimming events (if there are any) and an example to others that “you” don’t do this and get away with it.

  149. stepbystep permalink
    June 12, 2016 12:07 am


  150. June 12, 2016 1:28 am

    Fantastically written. I hope that Brock’s father reads this. This case enrages me, but I hope many people learn from it by reading posts like this.

  151. June 12, 2016 8:08 am

    This kid and his father make me sick. The justice system failed miserably.

  152. June 12, 2016 11:08 am

    And then people say India is not safe. Rape is a worldwide issue. And the one who committed it is no kid. And crime has no country, age or gender. The father is equally responsible for whatever happened. He is the man who brought up his son to be what he is now. A Criminal.

  153. King permalink
    June 12, 2016 1:25 pm

    Stirs up a lot of anger…means it’s a good piece
    Also check out

  154. June 12, 2016 1:49 pm

    Reblogged this on writingsofasinglegirl and commented:
    Very interesting post! (And the appropriate response if it was your son)

  155. June 12, 2016 5:34 pm

    Oh, six months isn’t fair for 20 minutes of action, eh? I think it matters very much what kind of “action” it is. I feel like I need a fucking shower. I wonder what he would think if HE was being raped for twenty minutes? You think he’d call his attackers’ sentence unfair? The thing is, the whole “he’s rich and white so he gets away with it” business isn’t going to fly anymore. We’ve got social media. You can’t keep injustice quiet anymore. We should be demanding justice, as a people. This is the worst kind of crime.

  156. June 13, 2016 6:08 am

    This one is strong

  157. June 13, 2016 7:59 am

    This is so disturbing.
    But I like how you’ve pointed how gruesome and indifferent the rapist and his father have been about it.

  158. June 13, 2016 8:10 pm

    They believe that nothing wrong has transpired. You can see it plainly in their statements. They don’t believe that they shattered that woman life, her standard of living-blow to bits. I hope karma gets him back one day and pays him in kind. with interest.

  159. June 13, 2016 8:27 pm

    There are million of such rape cases around the world . People show show their anger for few days and then everything turnouts to be normal as nothing happened. The only person suffer is the victim and her family. And that ass hole set free after some time and he start living is normal so called shit life with fun . But have any one ask or think about that victim ….how that incident or I ‘ll say that fucker one step change her life form head to toe .
    I have only one thing to say if such fuck people can’t control there shit ,why don’t they cut off ….

  160. June 13, 2016 8:48 pm

    There are million of such rape cases around the world ….and same thing happen every where .people show there anger for few days and after that everything turn out to be normal as nothing happen. The only person suffer from that mother fucker’s action is the victim. His one step change her life from head to toe . these cases are turning out serious and brutal that one can not even imagine about it . if any one there has any doubt about what I am saying then plz do visit or search for the brutal rape cases on Google .
    The only thing I have say is if such ass hole can’t control there shit thing why don’t they go and cut it off

  161. June 14, 2016 3:03 pm

    It is wrong to have unyielding love. Child or no child, parent or no parent, rapists are the lowest denominator of society. That piece of shit will never get his life back, and good.

  162. June 15, 2016 4:49 pm

    It’s hard to understand. Both the parents and the parent’s way of understanding their kid.

  163. June 16, 2016 1:22 am

    Alyssa Rose, thanks for writing this. It’s really important. The whole thing ties in with the relationship between young people and technology, as well as what guidance their parents/guardians give (or don’t give) them. I write about the topic here:


  164. June 16, 2016 7:08 am

    I wasn’t aware of this horrible story! Makes me sad to think there are people and parents like that out there.
    Thank you so much for sharing this beautifully written article.

  165. June 17, 2016 11:03 am

    Great writing. Thank you.

  166. June 17, 2016 11:59 am

    The courts have its position and parents have theirs. To me this is an example in early childhood development of and environment of entitlement and few or less consequences of ones actions so there is no remorse or restraint. This story and others are more rampant in our society than I like to think. I hope for the young woman’s restoration of wellness one day and that the young man will one understand just what his actions has cost him in the universe. No one escapes what they cannot see.

  167. Angela permalink
    June 17, 2016 11:04 pm

    Reblogged this on Angela Cassiel, Writer and commented:
    When I heard about the Brock Turner case from what feels like months ago, I couldn’t control my dibelief and anger well enough to write about it.

    From his disgustingly short sentence to those awful letters his parents wrote, I couldn’t believe there were people like them. So blinded by their son’s reprehensible behaviour that when they weren’t trying to appeal the short sentence, coming up with horrible excuses as to why their son didn’t deserve the already reduced sentence, showing no sympathy or compassion to the victim; they were blaming the victim and her behaviour.

    And the fact that there were actually people that agreed with Brock Turner’s family…

    I cannot. The world is awful.

  168. June 18, 2016 2:32 am

    This is really horrible. Been watching it over the news. And it makes me so sick .

  169. June 18, 2016 9:53 pm

    This is beyond well written. Awesome!

  170. longhorn skier permalink
    June 23, 2016 4:25 pm

    Great post. Just as the victim seemed to speak for all rape victims in her statement, your letter speaks to the correct way for a parent to feel – MORTIFIED, empathetic, remorseful, wounded, all characteristics your hypothetical letter achieved.

  171. June 24, 2016 6:40 am

    I could not believe they let him off so easily while other rapists are serving their full time. Injustice & Privilege.

  172. June 25, 2016 8:26 pm

    Reblogged this on Jotting Thoughts.

  173. July 2, 2016 5:01 am

    Everyone can be helped yes but, it is not up to someone else with a stable mind to help such people, it is up to such people to want to develop a stable mind of their own. Sometimes the instability of people who act out is such ways are due to medical conditions which isn’t their fault entirely but, some just choose to give into the inaccurate and inhumane side of their thoughts that every human has and it’s difficult to let it go unpunished.

  174. July 2, 2016 6:07 am

    Life lessons start at home, plain and simple. Responsibility and accountability are key — for parent and child. All too often, family members turn a blind eye to the bad behaviors and poor life decisions of their children, siblings and parents because they don’t want to do the hard work. Some innocent human being may one day suffer horrific consequences as a result.

  175. July 2, 2016 6:32 am

    Thank you for this! I shared my own personal story on my blog. Benevolent boundaries wordpress. I hope you have a chance to read it.
    Your post needed to be written!

  176. July 9, 2016 3:26 pm

    The blog post was spot on!! The whole story breaks my heart, he should have got years!!

  177. July 13, 2016 11:46 pm

    Hard one there, say shame and act accordingly

  178. July 14, 2016 4:45 am

    Very very well written

  179. John permalink
    July 25, 2016 4:16 pm

    All i can say is maybe we could find another “brock turner” a promising boy who doesnt have a criminal record and let him rape caroline turner/sister of brock turner then see if both dan turner and his wife would tell the world that the rapist of their daughter is on the clear and has done jyst a minor offense after all their daughter had too much to drink and is promiscuous. No problem.

  180. September 2, 2016 3:35 am

    This parent and child should be thrown in a hole together somewhere! What I have noticed, among so many other disgusting things about this family unit, was the mother was absent. I Love My Son unconditionally, but I do know that with fabric of his soul, he could never, ever, hurt anyone in a remotely close fashion as that animal! I appreciate your powerful words, but it’s just unfortunate that the “so-called judge” is a useless miscarriage of justice!

  181. September 2, 2016 3:52 am


  182. September 2, 2016 4:00 am

    Today is the day the animal is being released back into society😢

  183. Candice Bragg permalink
    December 28, 2016 6:13 pm

    I have to say, should you ever have to give that apology,well prepared you are. I am in 100% agreement with you on everything you’ve so eloquently written here. Please take a bow. As the saying goes, Speak the truth and shame the devil…Guess we know who the devils are in this horrible trajedy.

  184. January 15, 2017 8:39 pm

    I’ve come to this blog very late, and it seems the public is not forgetting. Perhaps jail would have been more merciful. Certainly he is not getting off easy in the public eye for his heinous deed:

  185. May 3, 2017 7:55 pm

    How could that monster only get the same sentence as some drunk who beats somebody up during a bar fight (six months in jail)?

    Maybe a little thought experiment will help:

    Imagine a woman (that is similar to the one wronged in this case) waking up in a medical bed after a day (or two) from her self-induced alcohol poisoning. First thing she notices are the policemen standing all around her bed. She looks down on herself, notices that her body somehow smarts a bit more than usually after getting fuckin’ drunk for fun and deduces that she must have taken a spill when she passed out from her inapropriate drinking last night (or the night before that one?). Well nothing too bad right? A few days of “taking it easy” and everything should be fine again, right? But wait, why are all these men starring at her like that? Oh yeah! She was found drunk and passed out in some alley!

    >>Damn, now they will present me with a hefty bill and hold a speach about the importance of self-limiting while drinking. OMG! How embarrasing!<<

    "Oh, I am so sorry, officers, I promise it won't happen again. Just give me the bill and I'll be on my way, ok?"

    The policemen look at each other, unsure about how to respont to tauch a strange statement. Then, they begin by asking:

    "Do you know who did this to you, young lady?"

    And the woman dully answers:

    "Yes officers … it was me. I did this to myself and I can't balme anyone else. I really really sory and I promise not to drink that much anymore."

    The officers look at each other, than they look at her, and ask again:

    "Do you remember what happend last night? About how you ended up in that alley we found you in?"

    "Well … no not realy, I was way too drunk by then. I crashed in some alley? Oh gosh, I didn't cause a scene when I left the club, did I? If so, I am sooooo sorry for whomever I might have wronged back than."

    "No Miss, you … were raped in said alley while you were unconsious."

    "I … I … was raped without even knowning about it? Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Thank you so much for telling me this. I might not even have noticed it if you hadn't told me about it just now. But that means … now my life is ruined forever! I'll have to go to therapy, start searching the guilt within myself, cry about it together with other rape victims, write to the press about it (even though I don't remember a fucking thing) and finally, I'll have to face the monster who did all this to me in the courtroom! I hope that bastard's life gets totally wrecked for commiting a crime upon me that I wouldn't have noticed anyway."

    "Don't worry, Miss. His life will be ruined for sure. Well … unless a carring parent of his can convince the "patriarchic white elitist" judge that everybody deserves a second chance, especially if he wasn't in his right mind when the crime happened, … or if he was an otherwise functioning member of society and would never likely to something like that again. Also, the injuries you sustained by his penetration of your genitals are about as bad as getting punched in the gutt by some averagely sized street thug about two times in a row.

    And we send those to prison for 20 years too, don't we) ; )
    Come to think of it … considering that their victims are awake while the physical assault happens … shouldn't they get 40 years instead of 20 (as in your case can be expected for your rapist) because it isn't just non-permanent physical assault but also a non-permanent physical assault whil being aware of it – so twice as bad? …

    Another police officer:
    "But hey, that's not gonna happen, right? So just lean back, enjoy the rest of your life as a "rape survivor victim heroine" and rest assured that the other drunk person who did something irrational and stupid last night will have its life wrecked because of it for sure."

    "OK, thanks officers."

    "Of course, pretty lady. We're here to help the people, after all."

    Notice anything fishy about such a dialogue?
    That's right! The guy should have gotten 20 full years in prison instead of only 6 months in jail. After all … hat he did was unforgivable.

  186. Jodie permalink
    August 29, 2017 10:28 pm

    Beautifully written and absolutely sadly true


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