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Can We Stop With This “Divine Feminine” Stuff Now?

November 6, 2016

The gentle and compassionate Kali, being feminine.

With any luck – and a whole lot of blood, sweat, tears and tequila – in 2 days, the US will dodge the terror of Fruity Pebble Fascism  and elect our FIRST Female President. I’ll be nervous until it happens, terrified actually, but in the depths of that terror, I’m  contemplating how it has brought out some of the more hidden detritus of toxic masculinity in our country.

No, not the fact that we call Hillary’s suits “pantsuits” instead of just suits. I mean, men wear the same fucking thing, but on lady-legs we have to give it a different name? (If Trump loses, do pants become “split-leg skirts?”) (By the way, when men wear their hair in a bun, it’s just a bun, not a “man bun.” Samesies.)  Read more…


A Day of Consent

October 21, 2016

14310365_10154609268520921_7281624264582892845_oIt started as it always does, “do you want some coffee?” My husband knows that I want coffee. I am not sure I have ever said “no” to coffee. And I know that if I lay in bed long enough and wait, pretending to not really be awake, he’ll bring me coffee. But he asks anyway. It’s a habit, at this point.

Later, he was going to make breakfast for himself, and he asked if I wanted breakfast. I didn’t. So he made breakfast for himself. I drank coffee and talked to him while he ate. But he asked. Read more…

Competition Day Packing List

October 12, 2016

10679651_10152963182815921_1397908649239439992_oWe have 22 athletes competing in the Festivus Games this weekend. For many of them it’s their first competition, and the idea of packing for it is as daunting as the idea of just doing the damned thing. (Personally, I find packing harder, there’s no one there to cheer you on, and if you are the goob who forgot your shoes, there’s not a whole lot of “way to give it your best effort” that’s gonna make up for it.)  So, here’s my general approach: pack like you’re going camping. Which means, make sure you have everything you need, and nothing you don’t.

I generally break it into two big bags. My gym bag, and my food bag. You basically want to assume you’re going to the moon because it will be unorganized, running late and you will not likely be able to swing by some cute little café to get food.

Having spent the last too-many years living at competitions of various sorts, I have this down to a science. Here’s how I do it: Read more…

What’s The Difference Between “Keto” and Whole 30?

September 4, 2016

Breakfast bowl! Cabbage, pork, salsa, avocado and egg. Keto & Whole 30 compliant.

It’s that time of year again. That time, which comes 3 times a year for us at Rocket CrossFit, when dozens of us will band together for a Nutritional Challenge. We used to always do a Whole 30 Challenge, but for the last year, we’ve had several members – Brady and I included – do a Low-Carb, High-Fat plan instead, which is commonly called “keto.” In fact, since doing my first keto challenge 9 months ago, I’ve not gone back. I take vacations off, but other than that, I’ve felt so good, and found it so easy, that I’ve not stopped.

But, what is the difference between Whole 30 (and “paleo”) and a ketogenic diet? Read more…

Hero WODs & The Politics Of Our Gym

September 2, 2016

Luke CageThe first Friday of every month means Hero WODs and champagne at Rocket. Those aren’t the only Hero WODs we do, but it’s definitely a special day for us. And after 5 years or so of programming, we got a little bored, and maybe a little jaded, about them. So we switched it up, and, as always, we got a response.

Backing up, there is a long tradition in CrossFit of writing Hero WODs to honor those killed in the line of duty. It’s a tradition that we also honor, and I have posted more profiles of fallen soldiers than I care to think about. Because I hate the fact that we keep sending our young across the planet to die in wars that are so often unjust and so often motivated by greed. (And then sent home, and too often neglected until they decay on our streets…..) That said, honoring the individuals that sacrifice their lives for our country is not something that is hard for me. I try to honor them every chance I get. I have always liked the Hero WODs, and I still do.  Read more…

CrossFit Games Gets Sponsored By A Gun Company, and the comments restore my faith in humanity

July 13, 2016

wp-1468469490910.pngI’m sure I’ll be back soon with a long and scathing commentary about the awfulness of The CrossFit Games getting a sponsorship from Glock, and offering GUNS as prizes to the winners of the Games….

I mean…. WHAT THE FUCK. They combat the public health risk of Coca-Cola, and then give out guns as prizes. Nevermind that there is no connection between fitness and guns. Or that we are, as a country, mourning countless innocent people killed at the hands of yahoos with guns…..

And now, as affiliate owners, we are having this brand association connected to us. As if Dave Castro’s moron programming and endless homophobic, sexist douchebaggery weren’t enough for us to explain. “We’re not like that,” many of us have been assuring people for years. And now this.

I have already had a member ask me how my affiliate fee goes to promote gun violence in this country. WHAT THE FUCK? Read more…

Don’t Tell Me To Relax (and other reasons I don’t do yoga…)

June 17, 2016

10371931_10152624149170921_7456316836602545054_nThe minute you tell me to relax, center my energy, find peace in some fucking place in my body that is currently itching and maybe even has a rash, I will want to cut you, and that is not relaxing. (Seriously, don’t tell me how to feel, okay?) I am happy to try and contort myself into any position you want, because playing with bodies is pretty much my favorite thing in the world, and it feels good, which is probably why I tried yoga yet again, but why are you telling me how I should feel about it?

I feel about most yoga classes the same way I feel about Fitspo propaganda: it’s guilt inducing bullshit designed to trap you in a slow slink to idealized conformity that is soul-crushing and body-harming and fuck you very much.

There seems to  be this myth in the yoga world that “centered” looks like one thing, and is the goal. Or that “peace” is a thing you can achieve while licking your navel, or that “stillness” is where all the magic is, or…  And while I honestly believe that for some people, that’s the way it works, to approach a class of people and assume that same goal for everyone is no better than me approaching a class of CrossFitters and saying “if you work hard enough, you too can have a bikini body some day.”

Read more…

What To Say When You Find Out Your Kid’s A Rapist

June 5, 2016
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Brock Turner was convicted of violently raping an incapacitated woman, but his father, Dan, thinks his loss of appetite is enough punishment.

I’m a parent. I know what it’s like to worry, sometimes irrationally, about the horrors that could befall my kid. I have imagined everything from kidnapping to cancer, miscarriage to….. well, let’s just say that in my mind I have already nursed her through every injury, illness and personal tragedy that my very-creative mind can come up with.

I haven’t prepared for the possibility that she could be the perpetrator of horror on someone else’s child. But, thanks to Dan Turner, the clueless fuck of a father who raised Brock Turner, the aspiring young athlete who raped a drunk woman behind a dumpster when she was passed out, I have now thought that through too.

And I think I have a grasp on what I would say if I found out my kid was a rapist. Read more…

Why I Will Never Push You To Be The Best Athlete You Can Be

June 3, 2016


1398046_10153007485050921_6591550970884374896_oMy daughter, who is a certified coach twice over, is learning to coach. (No, being certified is not the same thing as knowing what you’re doing.) She was shadowing me the other night, and pointed out an athlete who could be “doing so much more.” She asked, as a good student would, how she should approach it.

“Don’t,” I told her. “It doesn’t matter.”

I am not someone who believes in pushing people to do things they don’t want to do. Even our beloved members at Rocket.

I mean, I’ll push them a little. I’ll nudge them to show up. I’ll tell them to keep going when they look like they want to stop. But why would I care if one of them is only back-squatting 80 pounds when I know they could totally be doing 120?

I don’t care. Because they don’t care.

I have a gym full of people who could be doing more. They could try harder, they could get more weight or more reps or more whatever. Read more…

How Does Your Small Business Serve Your Community?

March 18, 2016

Packed into Rocket CrossFit after a big Holiday Workout

My husband and I own a CrossFit gym. We squeeze more than 200 members into a 1,500 s/f gym, 14 at a time. Rocket CrossFit is not a fancy gym, though we’re well-equipped. We don’t send members to The CrossFit Games, nor do we care to. We keep our prices as low as we possibly can, because our goal is to increase community, not just make money (though this is our livelihood.) As a result, we know many of our neighbors, run into them everywhere, and they know each other. Many friendships have been formed over the years. We are a classic small, neighborhood business, with a classic impact on community.

When we opened, our mission statement never included the words “money” and “profit.” We wanted to empower people and create community.  We looked at the financial models, and knew that would come, but we didn’t put that first. IF, we believed, we could build a thriving community, the numbers would serve us and our business would thrive. We were right.  Read more…